Monday, June 13, 2011

On being excited over non-exciting things.

I meant to write this days ago. Really, I did. And you can't prove otherwise, so nyah!

Anyway, last week I went to a conference in San Francisco for a few days. I won't tell you which conference because I don't want to involve my work life into my fun blogging life. And because I don't want to be stalked by some creepazoid that has a shrine to me and my awesome blogs in his closet and lights candles every night while staring at my picture and saying, "oh yes, you will be mine. Someday, you will be mine. Beetle gully!" So you can take your stalking hats off now (what would a stalking hat look like? I'm imagining a sort of safari-type deal. Anyone have a different stalking hat? Maybe a baseball cap with various pieces of candy attached to it or something?).

Anytime you have the word conference and you don't put an awesome word or phrase, like bouncy or cheese doodle, in front of it, you're pretty much guaranteeing that you'll have a boring conference on your hands. Sure, it was interesting. I learned. I didn't fall asleep or get so bored that I started thinking about how cool it would be if a bunch of unicorns just barged in and handed out free ice cream (but, you gotta admit, that would be pretty cool). I am not bad-mouthing the conference, I'm just saying that generally the word "conference" is yawn-inducing.

Besides the icky knowledge-getting and the fact that my boss actually thought me good enough to take to the conference, there were a few cool highlights, some with pictures, but most without.

First, we took the train. I have never been on a train before. Sure, I had to get up at 5:30 in the morning. I never want to know what 5:30 in the morning looks like. Ever. Again. Unless it's because I've been partying all night with platypuses (platypi?) and we're all so drunk by that time that we think it's a good idea to climb on the roof to see the sun rise, and by the way, have you seen a platypus try to climb onto a roof? It can't be easy.

Most, if not all, of the riders were obviously people who have ridden the train before. You could tell by the way they were applying their makeup or writing deep intricate thoughts in their notebooks, only giving uninterested passing glances out the window (and that was only to see their reflection in the window to make sure their hair didn't get messed up). But not me. No, I was a dork on the train with my camera, taking pictures of things outside the window for your enjoyment (you're welcome). And people probably thought I was crazy because OMG, who hasn't ridden on a train before?!

Here's a great bay side property.

Anyone in need of a chair?

I went to school here!

I'm on a bridge!

The bay bridge. 

Yeah. I'm an awesome train photographer.

Then we took a bus. I didn't take any pictures on the bus because buses aren't as exciting as trains, and while it's okay to look like an inexperienced train rider, it's not okay to look like an inexperienced bus rider. Just trust me on this one.

And then we got off the bus and went to the conference. And yada, yada, yada. Guess what happened then?!

I got my own hotel room!

(Imagine a picture of a hotel room here.)

I've never had a hotel room all to my lonesome. Unless you count that half-night that I got stuck in Atlanta and slept for maybe four hours. But I don't. Four hours is not a full night, people!

And I got a free drink ticket and had a drink at the hotel bar all by myself and met a cute older couple from Germany and I just wanted to pack them up and take them home with me.

Other highlights: I stole a beer from a reception at the conference, my TV didn't work so I watched Hulu instead, my shoes made the metal detector go off in the conference's building, I learned some stuff that was actually pretty cool, I ate at Bubba Gump's with my momma (who so graciously came to pick me up and hang out in SF on my last day there), I bought a cool new Beatles hat and a cool new purse and other cool things, and I saw a flying port-a-potty.

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