And now, a word from our foul-mouthed sponsors.

I try to keep this blog as family-friendly as possible, but the occasional curse word sometimes slips out, especially in my older posts when I didn't think about those mysterious things people like to call "readers." So in an effort to rid myself of random f-bombs, I thought I'd get it all out of my system in one post.

Cover your ears, children.

...

Jimmy, don't think I can't see you back there. Cover your ears!

That's better. Ready, folks?

$@$%*& @%$ @^$%! &$%(^ ###### @#$ on a !~#%$ *(^$#%# @$#*# !!! #%^ +=$% you smelly pile of $^@($( @#$%*& I hate your @&^$@_  guts ~~~ #$^$ %& (&@(*&$@ you make me want to &^* all over the(@#^&*$ ( * (&%^^&%^ pacifist yoga-pants wearing %#&@ polar bears! Fgdfgs wtweruoiturvs awiort frtowz!!!!

Ah. Much better.

Seriously, though, what's going too far when it comes to cursing? I think it's international knowledge what the mother of all curse words is, but what's acceptable to say? I know that it's okay to say ass on television, but is that even taking it too far? And what about that entire episode of South Park that revolved around how many times they could say shit?

And don't you tell me that you've never cursed before. At least once in your life, some obscenity has crossed your lips. Just admit it. Even if you're a saint and you don't curse in your waking hours, how do you know that you don't swear like a crazy cracked out camel who can't figure out how to put the coaxial cables back in his closed-circuit television in your sleep? You don't, that's how. And yes, I may have gotten a bit carried away with that analogy. This is my blog, deal with it.

Honestly, though, I don't think curse words are really all that bad. Once you strip them down of their taboo-ooooh-you-just-said-a-bad-word stuff, you're just left with words. And I like words. I'll tell you a story: When I was a kid, I loved reading. Like seriously loved it. And every once in a while, I'd pick up one of my mom's books and look through it, searching for certain words. And when I found the desired words, I'd put it down and tell her that her book had dirty words in it. I don't know how I learned to read them or why, but I knew. My mom was reading dirty words.

My point is this: Children won't grow up to be big, slimy horrible cursing hag fish if they hear or read a cuss word every once in a while. I could read curse words as a child, and I turned out alrig...

...Oh. Nevermind.