Why hello, Land of Blog. It's nice to finally see you again. I've been...around. Sorry I haven't called. I lost your number in a freak...boating...accident.....
Ohhhkay. Moving on. I feel like I need to explain why I haven't been posting much lately. And yes, Luna's blogs count because, if you didn't know already, I'm the one who really writes those.
...What? Stop looking at me like I've just told you that Santa Claus doesn't exis--oooh. Oops. I just...well, you looked smar--I mean...I...thought you knew.
Well. This is going well, isn't it?
Okay...I guess the best way to tell you this is to just blurt it out. I....wentonvacationanddidn'ttellyou! I'm so sorry! I was thinking about you the whole time, I swear!
You see, we were getting ready to leave for Los Angeles, and I told Pat, "I should probably let my blog know where we're going so it doesn't worry." You know, because my whole 7 followers would frantically check their blogger dashboard every minute while sobbing uncontrollably because I haven't posted anything new in two weeks. I mean, how dare I abandon you like that, right?
...Heh. You can put the pitchfork and microwave down now. I promise I'll be good from now on. It's all Pat's fault, really, because do you know what he said to that? "Screw 'em! They're just a bunch of no-good dirty nerds anyway! I hate nerds more than I hate people who look like Barbara Walters!" And let me tell y'all, he really despises people who look like Barbara Walters (but he loves Barbara Walters more than ice cream loves fudge, which is a lot. Obviously). It's like some strange form of racism--like BabaWawaism. Or something.
So this is just an update to tell you that there's another, better update coming soon. One with pictures and a real honest-to-God point. I know you're so excited that you might pee your pants, but you're going to have to strap on your Depends because I don't know when this new-and-improved post is coming.
...Don't look at me like that! I'm busy, yo!