Friday, July 8, 2011

I have my laptop back!

That's right, after over two weeks of updating my blog from my lunch break or on my fiance's computer while he sleeps, I have my own little piece of computing back. The keyboard feels right (I just can't seem to get the hang of those weird-o big desktop keyboards. I mean, seriously, what's up with those huge ass things?) and I loves my laptop so. It had this little hinge problem and it was all loose-goosey and like, "I'm going to fall apart on you" so--

Wait. What--are you snoring? You didn't even know that my laptop was broken, did you? You selfish jerk!

You know, that's just like you. You just blab on and on about your day and how that one bitch at work stubbed her toe so you had to baby her because heaven forbid she actually works, but you never ask me about my day, do you? Never. You know, just once you can take an interest in my life. You could maybe notice that, after all these years, there's no longer a laptop warming my legs while I do the LA Times crossword puzzle online. You probably didn't even know I did the LA Times crossword puzzle online, did you?

I thought so. You know what? It's over. Just...over. I'm sick of your selfishness.

...Just stop. You can't talk me out of this. You never listen to me, you never respond to me. It's like I'm talking to a wall made out of indifferent cats. Just go. I have my laptop to keep me company...oh, and my dog. Yeah. I have a dog. Didn't know that either, did you?

You sicken me.

Author's note: A big hearty thanks goes out to my good super-awesome pal Sam for making my laptop not angry and fall apart-y. No, not this Sam, although he is super awesome and he's offering free food to peeps on July 13 and if you're in Sacramento and you haven't checked it out then you better make like a tree and RSVP because he needs to know by Monday if you consider yourself cool enough for free food and do you know when Monday is? That's right. It's on Monday.

But back to my laptop, you selfish indifferent cat-wall. When I saw this picture...
...coupled with the caption of "Ummmm. How do I get it back together?" I peed my pants. Turns out, it was a bladder control issue. I'm wearing Depends now and taking some pills for it and it should be under control in a few weeks. Thankfully, since I have an appointment with the milk judge at the end of the month. Wish me luck! Oh, that's right, you won't, because you're a wall of indifferent cats.


(Thanks again to both Sams for fixing laptops and holding insurance things with free food. You guys are awesome-r than a puppy in spandex!)


  1. Its true folks, she is wearing depends...LOL Great post!! I'm glad you are off my computer, now I can look at all the..Ummm....Facebook...Yeah Facebook I want! HEHE! Love ya!

  2. Love it! You guys crack me up!