They should just rename it Blowjob Day

Today is Valentine's Day. If you forgot that, you're probably in trouble. Unless you're alone and, in that case, you're probably just sad. Sorry.

I've always been anti-Valentine's Day. I would spout the "it's just a Hallmark holiday invented to make you buy flowers and chocolates and cards and you should show your love for somebody in little ways every day yada yada yada puke barf fart," crap. Which, you know, is absolutely true. Guys will do anything to get a guaranteed blowjob, so a holiday made specifically for that purpose is like a freaking gold mine for those sappy card-making bastards. 

But what else is absolutely true is that you forget all that shit when someone rings your doorbell at 9 am with a vase filled with pretty flowers because your husband is cool and sweet and probably wants to get laid tonight.

Which he is. And he will (I can say that now because we're married).

Plus, it's a really good excuse to decorate your cardboard TARDIS with some pretty heart lights because you're festive. And too lazy to decorate in any real way because it's a holiday that doesn't really matter and then you'd have to take down the decorations 3 months from now, which is the approximate time it'll take you to stop playing Assassin's Creed or Skyrim long enough to do anything that might be called productive.

Enjoy those lights, TARDIS. You'll probably have them for a long time.